How Did The First Draft Go?
A few weeks ago I received feedback after handing in my first draft for this essay, which you can see below:
Kath, our tutor, gave back our essays with a sheet showing her opinions and area for improvement, which can be seen below:
All in all the feedback was quite helpful. Although I only completed half the essay for feedback (due to running out of time), I still got some critical feedback which helps to structure the rest of my essay. This included focusing more on post modernism plus instead of focusing on Gatsby, to focus on Grimm instead as this essay focuses on television - not film! Nonetheless, Kath also hinted to use illustrations as well plus to structure my introduction so that it explains what will be explored in the essay as well as what theorists will be used.
Changes made to essay:
- Harvard referencing
- Introduction edited, so that it now mentions which theorists will be used to enable a balanced
argument to commence plus which ideologies help to reinforce my points
- Postmodernism paragraphs. Here I've spoke about how post-modernism is the main problem for
adaptations to be infringed by discussing the demand the audience seek for drama and how
narratives and characters have purposely been disrupted to make it seem more problematic
- A direct analysis of Gatsby the film with the book, reinforced by Barthes theory on narrative
codes. This comparison of narrative structure shows how the narrative may've been infringed.
- A more detailed analysis on enigmas and Barthes theories in general
- Conclusion which draws upon each point in my essay plus generally concluding how this
infringement is due to post modernism
- Illustrations added to help to reinforce some points I mention e.g. a character with a red jacket to
reinforce my ideas on symbolism
- Reference to a fairytale story (3 little pigs) to compare narrative codes
Below is the final draft of my essay:
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