So after having my first tutorial since starting the course, Simon gave me some useful advice which has given me a clearer view on how to structure my script for my project. Firstly, we begun by talking about the plot of my story. Simon then went on to explain the importance of the characters within a story in general, and how they are used significantly to tell the story and give away the plot. This helped me as I realise that I have little character development within my story, meaning I needed to elaborate on my characters so that they portray more emotions for my audience, thus making my story seem more dramatic and climatical.
Also, to help me to make the characters tell more of the story, I also needed to make it clear on who my characters actually are e.g. their personality - can the audience identify character traits which I am trying to show? This too advised me as it wasn't clear to the audience about the character representation on which I am trying to show.
Improvements on my project
After receiving my feedback from Simon, I immediately begun to make changes to my project. I first begun work on my characters - I realised that the relationship between my two characters (Joe and Tay) isn't as strong and noticeable as I thought. For example, they are only cousins - this could mean they are either very distant or in fact very close. Additionally, I also didn't outline whether their relationship is good or not - whether they like each other or dislike each other. So to change this, I have decided to make the two characters brothers instead. This creates a clearer relationship between my two characters, as I have also purposely created an opposition between the two brothers so that they don't like each other.
Linking on from my previous paragraph, I have also decided to change the representation of the two characters so that they help to tell more of the story. Because Joe is now Tay's brother, I have to change the description and background information of him (e.g. a upper-class hard-working student who is wealthy and doing well in school, etc). Instead Joe now lives in the same setting as described in Tay's description, mentioned earlier in my blog (a gritty location - situated in the inner towns of Chatham living in the iconic multi-storey building of flats). Therefore Joe and Tay now have the same location description.
Nevertheless, the two characters are still represented in diverse ways. Tay is portrayed to be a ruthless and intimidating character whom is only loyal to his gang - the sort of character who isn't scared of crime and fighting. Whereas Joe, who is aware of his brother being in a gang and his surroundings is still keen on his education and uses his conscience to stay out of trouble. You can argue that he gains his inspiration to be successful ironically from his brother's failure and from the poverty him and his brother dwell in. This also links in with Joe's confidence and courage - he is a dominant character due to his background information (e.g. living in poverty, his father's death and the dispute between him and his brother).
This links me to my next change - the relationship between the two brothers. Evident in some stories and even in reality, the two brothers follow the stereotypical 'fighting' and disputes, yet however are both still 'family'. However the idea that they are still 'family' remains prominent throughout my story until the end when Tay saves Joe from being mugged.
Overall, I feel these changes will help me to explain the story in a more effective way as well as making the story seem clearer as I have created characters who may come out to be more identifiable in my script.
This links me to my next change - the relationship between the two brothers. Evident in some stories and even in reality, the two brothers follow the stereotypical 'fighting' and disputes, yet however are both still 'family'. However the idea that they are still 'family' remains prominent throughout my story until the end when Tay saves Joe from being mugged.
Overall, I feel these changes will help me to explain the story in a more effective way as well as making the story seem clearer as I have created characters who may come out to be more identifiable in my script.