Feedback
Following on from our second day, Simon set us a task to find a story in a newspaper or magazine (etc) which interested us and to create and fictionalise it by creating a pitch. This I found to be a challenge as we were newly introduced into writing a pitch (as we firstly had to write a pitch for the short film 'Soft').
So I went home and searched the net to find a news report which interested me - I went onto the BBC website and read and learnt about the Kenyan mall terrorist attack and came up with a pitch which was presented to the class.
After reviewing my work, Simon then gave me feedback. He picked out that my pitch was more along the lines of a newspaper headline (or short introduction) which after thinking about it seemed evident. Additionally, Simon suggested that I should make the pitch seem more personalised and emotive - this can be achieved by potentially fictionalising my pitch so that it is more appealing for the audience. For example, including an anecdote.
I then took in Simon's feedback and re-worked on my pitch, which eventually led to this:
Trapped (re-write)
Throughout the hard-hitting Kenyan shopping mall attack, a terrified woman was found hiding alone from the horrific gunfire in a claustrophobic and cramped air vent.
